The Mother Load

After a much needed chat with my sister-in-law Sherrie this weekend we both agreed on one fact of motherhood; when you have children you know they will be work but you don't know that they will be that much work!

  And there's no getting around the fact that no matter how wonderful a dad their father may be, a child relies most on their mother.  Yes, in today's society there are stay-at-home dad's that fulfill this role, but usually it is the mother who knows the little signs and nuances that make up a child's day.

  My husband is a wonderful father but he doesn't know the routine that is inevitably set in the child's mind whether you have one established or not.  I have discovered to my surprise that I have a routine even though I lack a great deal of time management.  Nothing fantastic in my mind but it greatly matters to my son and the dog.  A fact that I have found out after a few Saturdays of my husband kindly offering to let me sleep in and he would take care of things for me.   This is wonderful in theory; but inevitably the dog comes running in a half hour later to wake me because "Daddy" isn't used to letting him out and he knows "Mommy" will know what he needs.  When that is taken care of I hear Ronan howling.  After about five minutes (I'm not real patient I admit) I will go out to see what the fuss is.  Liam will be trying hard to keep him quiet but somehow I usually know what he wants (it varies) and Liam will look at me and say, "that's it?" and I will have to agree that it is a seemingly small need but one that is usually something that we do in our day without thinking about it.

   As this is my first child I often feel very inadequate as a mother.  I never really spent much time with children before having my own and so have very little to rely on.  My mother and mother-in-law are both in another state and my closer girlfriends are not in this time of life yet.   Many days after Ronan is put to bed (sometimes with a bath sometimes without) I will reflect on the day and feel guilty because it seemed to consist mostly of "no's" and temper tantrums.  And then I think, "did I snuggle him enough? Did he feeled loved and cherished today?"

  When all is said and done, one of my greatest purposes in life will be to mold him and love him in a way that he knows God's love and that he was put on earth for a reason. 
  Tomorrow is another day and can be filled with tears and tantrums or giggles and grins; it's up to me to set the standard.